The child and the anger
A single mother was at her wit’s end, but through new strategies and understanding of her child’s development, she was able to improve daily life and strengthen her relationship with her daughter.
Initial situation
A single mother describes the challenges with her strong-willed child and feels overwhelmed by their tantrums.
"Stubborn and unbearable"
Mother at her breaking point
A single mother with a 2-and-a-half-year-old toddler was at the end of her tether. She described the child as ‘stubborn’, ‘strong-willed’, ‘annoying’ and ‘unbearable’. She had the feeling that she didn’t stand a chance against the little one and was helplessly at the mercy of her tantrums.
Understanding and developing strategies
Knowledge and boundaries
It was helpful for the mother to learn more about the child’s development. Identity development was in full swing and the little girl was trying to find out who she was and what she could already do. We then practised strategies on how the mother can lovingly distance herself so that she no longer takes the child’s tantrum personally.
Routines help
Rituals and self-awareness
We worked out sensible routines for bedtime, mealtimes and mornings. This meant that the little one could rely on her rituals and routines and had less room for power struggles. Together, we found situations in which her daughter could make real decisions and thus test her independence.
Outcome
The conflicts decreased rapidly. Even though the mother sometimes found it very difficult to distance herself from her daughter’s emotions, she became better at it. Daughter and mother grew from the challenges they faced together. The mother was happy about her deepened and strengthened self-confidence as a mum.