Delegation of responsibility
A single mother found new relief in her family life and was able to reduce the burden by delegating specific responsibilities to her children.
Initial situation
The single mother of two children sought my counselling. In the preliminary discussion, she talked a lot about how overwhelmed and tired she was. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and was constantly chasing after everyone. We arranged a counselling appointment.
Identification of problems
Lack of routines and responsibility
I asked her if they had routines in the family. And whether the children knew their responsibilities. She burst into tears. ‘It would be so great if they did something. I always have to do everything on my own. They just leave everything to me.’ The mother was visibly very exhausted. In line with the principle of small steps, we agreed on a kind of timetable. She shouldn’t want to change everything at once, because that wouldn’t work with the children and would overwhelm her. We chose specific areas where she would give the children responsibility. This would allow her to take time for training and show the children what to do without being reproachful.
Initial successes and adjustments
Taking responsibility and experiencing relief
In the follow-up phone call, she said that the children had reacted surprisingly. They had even chosen their own tasks and were happy to take them on. After a short time, she felt that her morning routine and tidying up had become easier. Of course, she had to remind the children more often of what had been agreed and there were also small conflicts. However, she had now realised that these conflicts would only turn into power struggles if she got involved. So she tried to act instead of talking. We agreed on our next goals and said goodbye.
Outcome
This mum always takes part in discussion parties and comes to the parents’ group. This allows her to practise and consolidate the new methods. She still tells me with surprise how much this new way of interacting has enriched her family life.
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